Tea and Anatomy
by room421
Summary: Yea, I wrote another Grimmjow piece. Now with 45 percent more Crack.


**Disclaimer:** I own Bleach. Merchandise, that is. A little keychain that has the Squad Three emblem. And Volume 15. Can't forget that. Kira is just so damn cute!

**Spoilers:** Well, I really can't remember when you finally see all the Espada together at the table (took me forever just to find the picture of them at the table and nowhere did it say which chapter it was) so, if you do not know the Espada, go read the manga. I guess be up to chapter 298, only because that is where we learn the black guys' name.

**Other Crap:** I can not believe I wrote another Grimmjow one shot. He is just one of those characters that demands to be written about. This one is more crackish than my last one and still deals with the issue of Arrancar anatomy. This one though, has that embarrassing, 'Oh my God, I can't believe this is being written about and why am I reading it' kind of feel. NOT perverted (minds out of the gutter people) but just, blushing and laughing, and groaning, at the same time. Enjoy!

He took another gulp of tea.

It was one of the first meetings of completed Espada together with Aizen-sama, Gin, and Tousen.

It just happened to be tea time this time around, and all the Espada and ex-Shinigami had cups of warm herbal tea in front of them.

He gripped the tea cup again and felt the warm porcelain, _or was it clay? Eh, whatever_, and took a few sips.

Nearly fifteen minutes later, and halfway through a second cup, he felt a small amount of pressure near his, _cough_, manhood.

_What the hell?_

He began to wonder, did he consume a bad soul?... no, the pressure was not in his stomach; was the tea bad, or, _Poisoned?_

He shot a glance at Szayel two seats down.

The pinked hair Espada had his hands folded in his lap, nodding along with whatever Aizen-sama was saying, _the weakling_, too afraid to ever disobey Aizen.

So he probably wouldn't mess with a higher, _or was it lower?_, ranked Espada.

He then looked across the table at Ulquiorra, just sitting there, not even nodding; head only tilted towards the former 5th Squad captain.

_Freak._

He noticed Ulquiorras' tea was untouched, now the steam was slowly fading as the tea grew cold.

_Does he know somthin's wrong with the tea?_

There was a twinge, and almost out of instinct, he crossed his legs and began to bob his foot up and down.

He had to inspect all of his fellow Espada now. Even Aizen-sama and the other two ex-Shinigami had to be observed.

Stark had his chin rested on his hand, eyes closed, and mouth slightly open.

Halibel, even with Nnoitra between them, noticed the sleeping 'man', and sighed, her head shaking.

His eyes went to Nnoitra, who had a bored expression on his face. The disturbing smile was now an even more disturbing frown.

As if feeling eyes upon him, the 5th Espada looked at him, grinned, and then winked.

_Goddamn, creepy-ass Nnoitra._

He sneered back and quickly moved on.

The old man was near the end of the table, which required a bit of head twisting, without being overly obvious about the act.

He looked pissed. That was all he could ever read on the old man's face. In a way, he was the most intimidating of all the Espada. He didn't know the old man's rank, but he had narrowed him down to the top three.

Stark and Halibel were the other two in that category of top three.

_But I could still kick that old man's ass! I know I could! No one can kill me!_

But something made him turn away, and his eyes settled on the Espada next to him; Zomari Le Roux.

The bigger Espada looked down upon him, glared, and returned his gaze back to Aizen-sama.

_Dick._

He didn't even have to look at Yami to know what he was doing.

The biggest,_ and stupidest_, Espada had his head in his hand, much like Stark, only his bored and tired look would be from confusion on what was being said. He would, no doubt, ask Ulquiorra what the hell the meeting was about the moment they left the room.

He smirked, and just as he was about to notice that Aaroniero didn't even have a cup of tea in front of him, there was another, stronger, twinge, and he pressed his legs tighter together. His foot began to rapidly move up and down.

He turned his head to look at Aizen-sama and the others.

Gin took a sip of tea.

_Well, that means the tea must be okay._

He finished off the neglected, second cup of tea.

This seemed to make it worse.

He was now fidgeting in his seat, nearly bouncing up and down.

Gin looked at the pale blue haired Espada, confusion diminishing the always present smile upon his face.

"Whats wrong wit ya, Grimm-kun? Gotta go to tha bathroom or somethin'?"

The room went quite, and everyone looked towards Gin, then turned towards him.

_That's it!_

He got up.

"Yes! Yes I do."

He ran off to find a restroom, and after relieving himself, he smiled.

It had been so long since having a human anatomy, _this_, need had been long forgotten and discarded, along with many other human needs and urges.

He had also forgotten how tea always ran straight through him.

**The End: **The last line is dedicated to my friend Caity, who told me that tea always makes you have to pee almost right after you're done with it. After writing this, I feel like I'm missing something about Arrancar body functions. Are they really human like, and work like a human body, or are they still just spirits that only need to consume souls? Oh well, another unique (and stupid) look at Grimmjow and his (sexy) body.

**Begging Time:** Review, cause that's what all the cool kids do.


End file.
